Fear of Death- Part II (concld)

           

(contd from the  previous post)

       Padma came of college- going age. The typical day at her college started with a prayer which requested God to take them from mortality to immortality (‘Mrityorma    Amritamgamaya’), among other things. When ever she uttered the word, ‘Mrityorma’, if the face of any human showed up in her vision, by any chance, she shuddered. She did not want anyone, who may have knocked the doors of her thoughts at the time of she uttering the word, to pay with life on account of that. So, she tried to work out a solution- she wanted to consciously remember someone dead to symbolize mortality. A plan-B was put in place to remember the king Cobra, whose bite was a sure-shot cause of death- so that the horrendous bite may be an antidote to poison in life!

       At last, some initiative had been taken in overcoming the fear!

       In what was one of the regular brooding spells, an idea struck Padma – why was she scared of death? Does she have that much of attachment with her life so as to fear death? Is it possible to take one’s own death lightly? She tried to experiment with this new liberating idea. She applied it to a new stotra she was bearing. “Yaksha Rakshasa Sardula Sarpa Vrichika bheehnate" (The slayer of the fear of Yakshas, demons, tigers, snakes and scorpions). She imagined herself as each and every one of the fearful ones. It was really empowering. She was excited, expectedly.

       She decided to test Mrityu with herself.  When she recited “Tasya Mrityu bhayam nasti’ (Then there shall be no fear of death), she imagined herself as the personification of death. Stage II has been reached now!

      

       Padma, the researcher, was on a data collection trip. She stayed at her maternal grandfather’s home while doing so. She hardly realized that one of the visits would test her fear!

       It was a hot summer morning. The clock struck eight, but Padma was not yet out of bed. Her aunt wanted to check if she were all right and find out if she would make it to the Madras Record Office from where she collected her data. Padma opened her eyes and realized that she found her aunt in a dual role! The room was revolving around her!! She blurted out her condition and shut her eyes again. Her aunt returned with some horlicks and some medicine. Padma took them and went back to sleep.

       By ten, Padma felt better, got out of bed and got ready to leave for work. The elders of the home advised her some rest, but she was so keen to go that she convinced them to let her go. Her logic was simple- it was either ‘Vijayam’ (victory) or ‘Veeraswargam’ (martyrdom). If she were destined to die in Madras and not in her home town, she might as well die in the record office, chasing her dream till the last minute and even be an example worthy of emulation for the future researchers!!

       But this fear was not just one of others’ or one’s own death – it was also about the death of negative qualities in one’s own self. A pious senior of Padma, the employee, advised her to recite the Narayana Kavacham for victory over enemies. By now, Padma matured to the extent of realizing that the enemies were those within- Desire, Anger, Greed, Attraction, Arrogance and Envy. At that time of her career, she had to cope with many professional challenges. However, she never treated the individuals causing the challenges as enemies, but strove to be better equipped to take on her enemies within with all sincerity. She was able to handle them with firmness and respect with the result that the rude fellows finally lost their credibility. Stage III was crossed by realizing that one was one’s own enemy which had to be decimated! 

       News of death of a chum is hard to bear. More so if the chum is one’s grandfather and an inspiration as well. Padma was told by an aunt that grandpa was around, though invisible. She accepted it. It‘s been 5 years since the passing away of grandpa, but she really never considered his departure as final- since his soul was around her to be her friend, forever.

       By being able to differentiate between the mortal and the soul, Padma had overcome Stage IV of her fear!

       Two batch-mates of Padma got married in a ideal fashion a few years back. They were blessed with a son. The smiles people saw the other day were the result of toil by both of them to make their wedding work and also get accepted by both the families. These smiles turned out to be short lived; after a year or two, the husband was diagnosed with cancer and was lost to the disease after a prolonged fight.

       This news reached Padma – she was shocked at first, but then she convinced herself that her friend was brave enough to come out of this grief and move ahead in life.

       But she thought she should ask God a question – ‘God, he had a family to be taken care of. I don’t have any. So, why did it have to be him, and not me?’

     Surely, Padma has come a long way, hasn’t she?

(concluded)